I’ve noticed it many times whenever we’re unsure of something or a little under confident about the soundness of a statement we keep on budging others with several attempts to reassure them (actually ourselves) that something is or isn’t important to us. Over the years I’ve realized that such kind of practice can trap you in mirror spell i-e you assess the veracity of your suggestions and ideas through other’s reactions. For instance if you suggest a party and your friend says ‘sounds great lets plan a blast’ your enthusiasm will bounce to many times the original magnitude. Great! But now consider the flip side; when you come up with a plan and your friend says ‘nay! I’d rather prefer go shopping’….? The matter is actually much sterner than this. Cuz our opinion-seeking habit can influence ideas ranging from simple initiatives to more pragmatic issues of your life like specialization selection in university to career plans.
A weird implication that I observed was making others believe in our ability to achieve our ‘very much’ individual plans:
"I’ll study from the start of the semester" (ahh! right)
"You know I just replied her because I didn’t want her to think I am ignorant" (outright lie!)
"I don’t care much about what people say about me; I like to go by my rules" (what’s the point of this confession?)
"I really want to nail this pitch and you’ll see I’ll make it spot-on" (so what you want from me? Standing ovation?)
You might argue what’s the hitch in tendency-to-share if we succeed in making ourselves believe in such disguise? Good point! I wish you were right but unfortunately that’s not the case. A research study has proved that whenever a person enlightens his/her aims to others, odds of Actually achieving that aim drop dramatically. 40 persons were divided into two halves and group A was asked to elaborate their future plans in front of all others while group B was asked to jot down their plans quietly. After the session everyone was asked to write their plan-of-action (through which they intend to achieve their aims) in 45 minutes. Almost all members of group A stopped writing after 23 minutes in average because they said they felt less enthusiastic about their plans now. While all members of group B availed 43 minutes on avg and said that they feel there’s still a long way to go. Bottom line: whenever we discuss our plans openly our mind creates a pretense that we’ve already achieved it and we feel less enthusiastic about it in the implementation phase.
Over the years I’ve learned that the most crucial cog regarding your plans and ideas is You and you need to explain to yourself the pros/cons and implementation strategies of your plans. Of course Im not suggesting to eliminate the idea of taking opinions from your peers, rather I am saying don’t depend heavily on it. Set goals, strive your best to achieve it and demonstrate your vision through results. Even evaluate your performance yourself and define ways to reward or excoriate yourself.
Stop viewing yourself from eyes of others, you are what you are and others can only cast illusions on your vision to make you see in a certain way. Get up! GET UP!
No comments:
Post a Comment